An Italian in Malta

An Italian in Malta

(Must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go to eata breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna your plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't evena know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch!

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't evena know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch!

So I go to my room inna hotel and there is no sheet onna my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet. He tella me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna sheet on my bed. He say you better not sheet onna your bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he calla me a sonna ma bitch!

Finally, I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say "Peace on you." I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch! I gonna back to Italy!