...im englischen Original - weil in der deutschen Synchronisation einfach zu viel Wortwitz verloren ging.Für mich noch immer die beste Sitcom aller Zeiten.
***
Dorothy: Oh c'mon, Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.
Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.
***
Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.
***
Blanche: The Great Herring War?
Rose: Between the Lindstroms and the Johannsens.
Dorothy: Oh, THAT Great Herring War.
***
Rose: I just had a thought...
Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche: Congratulations.
***
Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, but I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves.
***
Dorothy: Hi, ma. Where are you going?
Sophia: To the boardwalk. I like to watch the old guys rearrange themselves when they come out of the water.
***
Dorothy: You couldn't sleep either, huh?
Sophia: No, I'm sleeping so good I thought I'd come try it in the sink.
***
Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
***
Blanche: This is strictly off the record but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am.
Dorothy: In what, Blanche, dog years?
***
Blanche: I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.
***
Sophia: My hiney's asleep.
Dorothy: Fine, we'll keep our voices down.
***
[In a darkened movie theatre]
Rose: I wonder what kind of movie this is...
[Off-camera sounds of woman screaming in horror and roaring chainsaw]
Dorothy: It's a musical, Rose.
***
Blanche: What was your first impression of me?
Rose: I thought you wore too much makeup and were a slut. I was wrong. You don't wear too much makeup.
***
Sophia: Ow.
Dorothy: What is it, Ma?
Sophia: Pain.
Dorothy: What kind of pain?
Sophia: The kind that hurts.
***
Blanche: Rose and I are taking a ‘dirty dancing’ class.
Dorothy: Really.
Blanche: It's become quite popular since that movie came out.
Rose: What movie is that?
Dorothy: "Lawrence of Arabia", Rose.
***
Dorothy: It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.
***
Rose: I don't think lying is really a good idea. I once cut school and that proved very bad.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose. We've all cut school. It couldn't have been that bad.
Rose: Oh, yes it was. That was the day they taught EVERYTHING.
Dorothy: The final piece of the puzzle.
***
[Blanche commenting on her brother's lifestyle]
Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men.
Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this "gay thing" yet, have you, Blanche?
Blanche: Well there must be homosexuals who date women.
Sophia: Yeah. They're called lesbians.
***
Rose: You know, I've been thinking...
Blanche: Oh, that would explain the beads of sweat.
***
[Rose and Dorothy are attempting to move a new toilet into the bathroom]
Rose: Oh, don't give up, Dorothy. If the ancient Egyptians could move twenty ton stone blocks to build the pyramids, we can move a toilet.
Dorothy: Fine, Rose. Get me twenty thousand Hebrews and I'll see what I can do.
***
Sophia: Please, I'm in my twilight years.
Dorothy: You're in the Twilight ZONE!
***
Blanche: So, Dorothy, tell us how good was the sex?
Dorothy: So good we named it!
***
Dorothy: Ma, I DON'T snore.
Sophia: Please! I had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn't inhale the drapes!
***
Blanche: I can't believe you said that! Oh if I weren't a lady I'd deck you.
Dorothy: You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date.
***
[trying to get animals to breed]
Dorothy: What they need is an aphrodisiac.
Rose: An African what?
Dorothy: An aphrodisiac, Rose. Something that makes you feel sexy... like Spanish Fly.
Rose: [disgusted] Spanish flies?
Dorothy: Fly, Rose. One Fly. Spanish Fly.
Rose: Oh, come on Dorothy. I've been to Spain. It's not the cleanest country in the world, they must have thousands of flies.
Dorothy: It is not a fly Rose! It's a beetle!
Rose: They call it a fly but it's really a beetle?
Dorothy: Yes.
Rose: How do they know it's Spanish?
Dorothy: Because it wears a little sombrero, Rose!
***
Rose: Charlie once had a business partner who was also a lying, cheating, evil, slimy human being!
Dorothy: Wait, Rose, let me guess. Hans Zinglefruberdanshoodlegadenhinkelmeier?
Rose: Yup! That's the louse!
***
Blanche: Dorothy, do you realize it has been three days since I have enjoyed the company of a man?
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche. I've been marking the days on my Big Ships of the Navy calendar.
***
Rose: Lets face it, Blanche, you have Bette Davis eyes... and Freddy Kruger hands!
***
Rose: Back where I come from, most people won't eat store-bought cake.
Dorothy: Rose, back where you come from, people live in windmills and make love to polka music.
Rose: Stop it, Dorothy. You're making me homesick!
***
Blanche: [Sophia slapped Blanche's grandson for mouthing off] Is that all you Italians know how to do? Scream and hit?
Sophia: No, we also know how to make love and sing opera!
***
Blanche: Dorothy, this is crazy! Since when do you care how you look?
Dorothy: I think it started when I came down from the bell tower and had my hump fixed!
***
Sophia: All you ever do is talk about your sexual problems! Well, what about my sexual problem?
Dorothy: Alright Ma, what is it?
Sophia: I'm not getting any!
Dorothy: Oh c'mon, Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.
Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.
***
Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.
***
Blanche: The Great Herring War?
Rose: Between the Lindstroms and the Johannsens.
Dorothy: Oh, THAT Great Herring War.
***
Rose: I just had a thought...
Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche: Congratulations.
***
Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, but I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves.
***
Dorothy: Hi, ma. Where are you going?
Sophia: To the boardwalk. I like to watch the old guys rearrange themselves when they come out of the water.
***
Dorothy: You couldn't sleep either, huh?
Sophia: No, I'm sleeping so good I thought I'd come try it in the sink.
***
Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
***
Blanche: This is strictly off the record but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am.
Dorothy: In what, Blanche, dog years?
***
Blanche: I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.
***
Sophia: My hiney's asleep.
Dorothy: Fine, we'll keep our voices down.
***
[In a darkened movie theatre]
Rose: I wonder what kind of movie this is...
[Off-camera sounds of woman screaming in horror and roaring chainsaw]
Dorothy: It's a musical, Rose.
***
Blanche: What was your first impression of me?
Rose: I thought you wore too much makeup and were a slut. I was wrong. You don't wear too much makeup.
***
Sophia: Ow.
Dorothy: What is it, Ma?
Sophia: Pain.
Dorothy: What kind of pain?
Sophia: The kind that hurts.
***
Blanche: Rose and I are taking a ‘dirty dancing’ class.
Dorothy: Really.
Blanche: It's become quite popular since that movie came out.
Rose: What movie is that?
Dorothy: "Lawrence of Arabia", Rose.
***
Dorothy: It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.
***
Rose: I don't think lying is really a good idea. I once cut school and that proved very bad.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose. We've all cut school. It couldn't have been that bad.
Rose: Oh, yes it was. That was the day they taught EVERYTHING.
Dorothy: The final piece of the puzzle.
***
[Blanche commenting on her brother's lifestyle]
Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men.
Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this "gay thing" yet, have you, Blanche?
Blanche: Well there must be homosexuals who date women.
Sophia: Yeah. They're called lesbians.
***
Rose: You know, I've been thinking...
Blanche: Oh, that would explain the beads of sweat.
***
[Rose and Dorothy are attempting to move a new toilet into the bathroom]
Rose: Oh, don't give up, Dorothy. If the ancient Egyptians could move twenty ton stone blocks to build the pyramids, we can move a toilet.
Dorothy: Fine, Rose. Get me twenty thousand Hebrews and I'll see what I can do.
***
Sophia: Please, I'm in my twilight years.
Dorothy: You're in the Twilight ZONE!
***
Blanche: So, Dorothy, tell us how good was the sex?
Dorothy: So good we named it!
***
Dorothy: Ma, I DON'T snore.
Sophia: Please! I had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn't inhale the drapes!
***
Blanche: I can't believe you said that! Oh if I weren't a lady I'd deck you.
Dorothy: You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date.
***
[trying to get animals to breed]
Dorothy: What they need is an aphrodisiac.
Rose: An African what?
Dorothy: An aphrodisiac, Rose. Something that makes you feel sexy... like Spanish Fly.
Rose: [disgusted] Spanish flies?
Dorothy: Fly, Rose. One Fly. Spanish Fly.
Rose: Oh, come on Dorothy. I've been to Spain. It's not the cleanest country in the world, they must have thousands of flies.
Dorothy: It is not a fly Rose! It's a beetle!
Rose: They call it a fly but it's really a beetle?
Dorothy: Yes.
Rose: How do they know it's Spanish?
Dorothy: Because it wears a little sombrero, Rose!
***
Rose: Charlie once had a business partner who was also a lying, cheating, evil, slimy human being!
Dorothy: Wait, Rose, let me guess. Hans Zinglefruberdanshoodlegadenhinkelmeier?
Rose: Yup! That's the louse!
***
Blanche: Dorothy, do you realize it has been three days since I have enjoyed the company of a man?
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche. I've been marking the days on my Big Ships of the Navy calendar.
***
Rose: Lets face it, Blanche, you have Bette Davis eyes... and Freddy Kruger hands!
***
Rose: Back where I come from, most people won't eat store-bought cake.
Dorothy: Rose, back where you come from, people live in windmills and make love to polka music.
Rose: Stop it, Dorothy. You're making me homesick!
***
Blanche: [Sophia slapped Blanche's grandson for mouthing off] Is that all you Italians know how to do? Scream and hit?
Sophia: No, we also know how to make love and sing opera!
***
Blanche: Dorothy, this is crazy! Since when do you care how you look?
Dorothy: I think it started when I came down from the bell tower and had my hump fixed!
***
Sophia: All you ever do is talk about your sexual problems! Well, what about my sexual problem?
Dorothy: Alright Ma, what is it?
Sophia: I'm not getting any!
***
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